I Can't Do This

      Confidence is highly over-rated. Seriously, it is. I think (and I could be wrong, glory knows I’m good at being wrong) it’s more important to just do whatever it is, confident or not. Now, I can hear some of you saying, “that takes confidence.” Negatory. I’m walking proof. I feel pretty certain I can’t do most of what I do, I just do it anyway. That’s my motto: I can’t do this, but I’m doing it any how. That often comes across as confident. But, ask anybody that knows me very well if I’m self-assured and they’ll tell you I’m very much not. I just don’t care that I’m not.

Now, I’m not saying you don’t need to believe in yourself. What I’m saying to you is that the amount of confidence you have should have no bearing on wether or not you do a thing or at least give it a shot. Don’t pin your ability to achieve on the belief that you can. Because, guess what, life doesn’t wait for you to be confident. It doesn’t care one bit how good you feel about yourself or your abilities. It's going to do what it's going to do wether you are ready or not and 100% of the opportunities life throws at you that you don’t catch because you aren't confident enough to do so, will pass you by %100 of the time. Ok, sometimes opportunities hit you in the head, but still you have to catch them as they fall.

I’ve been in martial arts for about three years and it started in self defense. The teacher was great. The more I learned, the more he expected and he didn’t allow for half way attempts. Once, when we were about to go through an attack scenario, I got all nervous (aka unconfident), put up my hands and said, “wait, let me think what I’m supposed to do before you kill me.” He laughed and said, “you think when you get attacked somebody’s gonna wait for you to remember what to do? No. Now, get your hands up.” He then proceeded to fly at me like a puma.

For the record, I did the defense sequence completely wrong, but I still defended myself. I couldn’t do what he was expecting me to do, but I did it anyway. The it being that I defended myself and that was all that really mattered. Not my execution of the particular skill taught, not how well I believed I could do it, not my confidence. But rather, the fact that when that muscle-bound man (seriously, he looked like a balloon animal) jumped at me and swung his fist, I didn’t freeze up. I didn’t bemoan the fact that I hadn’t learned with any manner of confidence what he had taught me not five minutes previous or that he was bigger, stronger and I was so scared I might have peed in my pants a little. (Don’t judge me.) I just got out of the way.

Quit focusing on your confidence because it is totally irrelevant. Simply a luxury, not necessity. Should you have it? Yes. Strive to build it? Of course. But don’t think it has to be there. You do not, I repeat, do not have to believe to achieve. Sometimes the achieve comes before the believe. Sometimes you just have to look a monster in its ugly face, be scared of it, be smaller, weaker, less capable, be completely unable to defeat it, then run at it like a crazy person. Don’t even pause to take a deep breath. Does that take bravery? Yes. Also, on occasion, utter lunacy. But, bravery isn’t nearly as hard to come by as confidence. Sometimes bravery is just a matter of closing your eyes.

Now, friends, should you be stupid? Try anything and everything regardless of the risk? No. If you think that’s what I’m selling here, then you “ain’t right” and shouldn’t have access to the internet much less this blog. I’m saying that if you see an opportunity that a confident you would take, take it. You don’t need confidence. I officially liberate you from that presumption here and now. You just need the desire to do it which you already have if you thought, “if I only I had the confidence.”  Your effort might not be pretty, might be as graceful as a three legged pig, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that you didn’t shortchange yourself and all those around you who need to see somebody have an ounce of gumption. Be that person. Be the person brave enough to say, “I can’t do this, but I’m doing it anyhow.”